LooseSuits

Justin (quite possibly the only person I find a slight bit of intellectual profundity in, and as a result is the only person I enjoy being around in college) and I are probably going to get arrested because of a bar fight. The fight will probably have started when one of us came up with a rather pointless business plan to make lots of money, really fast, with no minimal effort. The entire premise of our now hypothetical endeavor will be borderline pointless, and capitalizes on the most fundamental concept of getting rich quick, common ignorance. A biker will turn around, point out that our plan wont work because we lack a crucial element, capital or startup money. He will apparently have gone to business school, dropped out although making straight-A's after deciding college was too formalistic and uniform to allow free thinking.

This is when I tell him our business will succeed because people are dopes, and he was a dope for going to college to become 'educated' on a concept of which our entire national economy is built: freedom of enterprise. He will punch me in the face, Justin will break a bottle over his head. Two hours later, we will resume our discussion on the deadly business plan, and at some point, one of us will call this "genius".

Amazing how the mind works, because all of this will have been spawned by a sign I read driving to Taco Bell which read "iPod Repair. Cheap! Call Doug".

Understanding that the most work a person could do to an iPod in an attempt to rectify any wrong that has occurred is to press two buttons, this was pure genius. If we look at the premise of humans being complete dopes (as a hole; a person is smart, people are terrified, uncontrollable behemoths of existence), we'll understand why product manuals are the most useless incorporated item packaged with electronics. Thus, the average soccer mom will drop her iPod while getting out of her Ford Winstar and slightly shake up the internal operating system.

At some point, she will see this sign, give Doug a call who will promptly tell her where to bring her iPod, and when to expect it back. She will have her iPod back in three days, although the process in which it is repaired will take less than three minutes (possibly, for the sake of familiar alliteration, twenty three seconds). Doug, being the opportunistic man he is, will replace the music on the iPod with corrupted versions of the songs ensuring himself something we know as 'repeat business'. Thus starting his cycle anew.

It is thus possible that in the future, I will come up with an arbitrarily pointless business plan that most consider trivial, not thought-provoking and rather, bluntly said 'stupid'. However, in the backwoods of reality, there will be some unemployed college student looking at this and calling it pure genius. The simple fact of it is,

technology + capitalism + ignorance = genius