LooseSuits

1. Potential. I hate this word because it is the most dangerous word around. Every business seems to have the "potential" to be great, but rarely lives up to it. You can find the potential in anything so much so that there becomes potential in nothing.

Hell, let's just leave with potential right now. I'll post more as they come to me.

"Core competencies" and "at the end of the day" top my list of abused corporate phrases. *shudders*...

Advertising, corporations, conglomerates, marketing, multinationals, Trusts, viral marketing, billions and billions and billions of monkeys and elephants and little fresh water fish, sugar puffs and snowflakes and poor people with rich enemies and poor enemies with rich people savouring canapes, swilling cheap Chilean wine at conferences with suits and ties and self-important smiles, old hands on young buttocks, utterly deplorable drawn out speeches, mutual neglect with superlative pursuits, 7 figure bank accounts, what's your business angle? 8 if you're lucky, have your got a strategy? 9 if you're good, what's your solution? Infinity's for gods, the trips to Miami, Barbados, Hawaii, Geneva, Kampala, pina coladas, the forays into politics, the charitable masquerades, the alleviation of conscience, stories for grand children, the lies and deceit, the global initiatives, decisions of fate, decisions for others yet oblivious to oneself, saving the world by saving yourself - your family - your friends - your colleagues - your college pals - admirers - debtors - lawyers - but your customers first, to happily retire without financial concerns, success success, abscess, success ratings, removals of decimal points, accountants unaccounted for, successful exploitations: numbers, people, factories, figures, surface area, output, production, projections, outsourced installations, viability, credibility, assurance, achievements, lifetime achievements, belief, ethos, company mottos, dilutions of culture, pollutions of landscape, capital placements, investments, shares bought, cheques signed, deals made, hands shaked, an endless series of hand shakes over a long mahogany table and bottles of mineral water on paper doilies, carefully positioned at 6am by Nigerian cleaners who dream of success like everyone else - do you avoid them in the corridor or do you crack a smile and say 'hi'? - Whispers in ears, executive genius, failure is for the masses, pissing on people from Himalayan heights, yellow snow, let us sing, let us sing our company anthem in proud, loud and harmonious unison, rip vocal chords, bleed sound and sing it to the four corners of the world to the heavens, the underworld, wake the furies and let everyone know that we are god and after these uncountable endeavors we did it in the name of peace, for the good of all, we were righteous and right and the wrong was still right, and whilst errors were made, they were made with conviction, that none of it was hollow, that we could stand accused, but vision and leadership would acquit our abuse, because it was all, after all, in all, of all and above all, in the name of business and is business not truth?

I despise the word potential. It is evil. Far too many shrewd business folks use that word to try and oversell a product, or promise more than will truly ever be imagined.

People that use such a word in a business context shall be poked in the eye with sporks for 12 days hence!

I don't even know what synergy means. Something so energetic you had to replace the "e" with "sy?" I have no idea what that even means. So, synergy has to be it. I hate words with no real definition.

My boss speaks solely in business jargon. Which is funny, since he is a journalist by profession. Here are some of his greatest hits.

This is the preliminary schedule drawn from this morning’s meeting so you can begin marking your calendars. I will soon transpose this onto the standard template and place on the server. Once that’s done, I will let you know, too.

This will be our normal meeting to plan this section's timeline and macro themes, taking into account the various production segment windows and participants in the process.

Ugh, English, please.

I hadn't heard it until I got into the business world and never did like it...'due diligence'

Bleh.